Aquatakat.com

Welcome

Hello. My name is Ryan. This is my web page. It's not really about anything. I put here all the things that I think the world should see. If you want to know more, you can read the about page. You'll probably want to check out the design gallery. And if you're really adventurous I think my audio files are worth a listen.

Some Things That Aren't Very Important

I hope they don't fix this

Please also see this additional reading.

Posted by Aquatakat on the 6th of February with 0 comments.

I wish I could accept philosophical suicide

Philosophical suicide being religion or agnosticism. The idea that there is a god or a guide force in the universe that gives people purpose. Logically, this idea is absurd, for reasons so numerously mentioned elsewhere on the Internet I will not delve into them.

I have a very specific set of beliefs about the world, some of which I am beginning to find ugly and inconvenient. Beliefs is probably not the right word. Conclusions, perhaps. These conclusions have been shaped by each experience I've had. These conclusions have been drawn without omitting any of these experiences. Keep in mind that philosophical suicide requires omission of experiences or avoidance of knowledge in order to remain valid.

Why do I call it philosophical suicide? It's a term coined from a smart person writing Wikipedia articles. It is very apt. It is taking questions like "Why are we here?" and replacing them with a, by its very nature, unknowable entity. It asks no exploration or questioning; just a belief or a faith that something somewhere knows the answers. It stops that chain of thought. That's probably a good thing.

My conclusions have led me to the following realisation. Everything is pointless. Literally everything. Nothing matters. This is simply because every decision we make as individuals and everything we do is tailored in order to keep ourselves alive. It is where we came from. We exist because we want to exist. Our want to exist is borne from the fact that we exist. And our purpose in life is to continue to want to exist until we can't exist any longer. It is all very existential and it is surely very pretentious. Don't think I'm so deluded to think that I'm making a grandiose revelation. Tons of people come to this conclusion as well. Most of them commit suicide. Others commit philosophical suicide. Some do neither, and live with the knowledge. They may attempt to create meaning where there is none. Or they may not. I'm not, and I hate it.

See, if nothing matters, then I'm reduced to just living out my life until I die, knowing this. I think about every decision I make introspectively and fastidiously. I manage to drill every decision I make in life down to their root of it sustains my existence. Some are direct, like eating or having sex. Some are not, like entertainment or work. But they all end up with the same result. There are exceptions to this rule. I chalk them up to mishaps through mutations during natural selection.

It's difficult to think this way. It's difficult that I don't know anyone else that thinks this way. It's hard for me, and it depresses me. I try to convince myself that being sad about this is just a reaction to not being able to share in this knowledge with someone. But then I realise the fact that I think like that is just because I am instinctually trying to seek out other people in order to propagate the species, or some other function of existing. It is a vicious cycle of thought. I do my best to shut it down, but I can't. I get angry or depressed. It's hard. What's even more difficult is my philosophical suicide (in which I've decided nothing matters) must actually be correct. I'm accepting this as truth not because knowing will do me good, because it most certainly is not, but because it's what logic tells me.

I wish I could believe in a god. I really do. Or find meaning some other way where there is none. It would make things so much easier.

Maybe I am broken. Maybe I shouldn't think clearly. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly. I'm sure a pharmaceutical company could neuter my brain to make me think happy thoughts. I think that might be wonderful. But as it stands right now, I function in society just fine. It's just... Everything feels fake. When I talk to people, it feels like everything I hear and say in response is a game—a facade. I analyse all my words and am too deliberate. I envy those that don't and aren't.

The only reason I'm posting this here is because this site is dead and no one will care. I want this somewhere to use as evidence if I ever have to go see a psychiatrist or something.

Oh by the way I'm gay and if you hadn't already figured that out you're probably retarded. I used #0080ff Trebuchet MS for fucks sake.

Posted by Aquatakat on the 24th of January with 2 comments.

The new Fischerspooner album makes me inappropriately excited

Posted by Aquatakat on the 4th of January with 2 comments.

DOMContentLoaded is a good idea and it makes me sad that it is proprietary

On that note, the standard solution of defer only working right in IE makes me even more sad.

I am curious to hear about things that you wish browsers did that they don't. I'm sure there's all sorts.

Posted by Aquatakat on the 29th of December with 3 comments.

I lied.

I didn't make any new oggs at all.

Posted by Ant P. on the 18th of December with 1 comments.

Attention: browser manufacturers and standards makers

GameFOX added a nifty thing where I can change out dates on web pages with my own preferred date formatting based on my current locale settings in Windows.

I would like <time> and <date> to do this in browsers too please.

Thank you.

Related image:

Santa = locale based date formatting settings.
Little girl = every web page.

Posted by Aquatakat on the 6th of December with 2 comments.

I've still got it.

lolfirst

Posted by Ant P. on the 6th of November with 0 comments.

I made a new song again

Clicq

This is the direct result of me playing too much Rock Band.

Posted by Aquatakat on the 31st of October with 0 comments.

makes new oggs

I should probably make them before posting this but I feel like being an attention whore for a change.

Posted by Ant P. on the 28th of October with 1 comments.

Sometimes it seems like onion is reading from a script.

...

Posted by Ant P. on the 30th of September with 0 comments.